Bullies have been around forever. Recently the problem has once again come to the attention of the
media. The main reason being that bullies have a new weapon to use in their arsenal of destruction.
The Internet.
The Internet has many purposes.
Blogging.
Shopping.
Watching Videos.
Downloading Music.
Playing Video Games.
Dating.
Advertising.
Social Networking. The most popular site being Facebook.
On Facebook people have a way to connect with friends and family. It is also away to torment people in a potentially anonymous means. Cyber Bullying.
You can set up an account and look people up. There are a great deal of ways to get around safety and privacy settings that even The FBI has trouble keeping up. So kids and even parents (I use the term loosely in this context) can get in on abusing people hiding within the internet highway which is protected by our first amendment. It guarantees everyone "Free Speech".
I'm not going to use this post to voice my opinions about what changes The Government should make to help create a safer world of everyone on the internet.
Here's what I feel.
Parents need to make a better effort to communicate with their children as well as their spouse/ partner.
Mind you I refuse to place the whole weight of the blame on parents. This would include the parents of the bullies and those who are being bullied.
Sit down to dinner. At the kitchen table. No TV. No texting. No iPods. Just family. Together. We have to be able to set aside our addiction to our electronic gadgets. Seriously. So much of it is unnecessary.
Especially 24/7/365. Especially now during the holidays. We are addicted to the virtual world and thus ignore the real world. The 11 o' clock News used to ask, "It's 11 o' clock, do you know where your kids are?" Maybe we need to ask that question ALL DAY LONG.
I understand monitoring kids internet use, (including cell phones) 100% maybe near impossible.
Perhaps parents need to peel themselves away from The Worldwide Web.
Also I think that if a compliant comes forward about bullying it needs to be taken seriously. By ALL parties.
Let me now address people being bullied. It is hell. I know I had to deal with bullies for many years as I grew up. Much of it happened at school. But the bulk of it was after school. For me it took the form of violence. The result being visible bruises and scars. These lead me to believe I was weak and that I deserved to be beaten by my bully. Those thoughts about myself lead to deep scars in my soul which are still healing. 'Words will never hurt me' is a truly false statement.
If you are being bullied there are ways for you to react. Many easier said than done. Ask yourself does any of this really matter?
Let me explain.
Yes it hurts. Yes you may get depressed. You may want revenge. Or you may feel so worthless that you think killing yourself is the answer. As I said at the beginning of this post bullies have roamed the earth almost since day one. So unfortunately the problem will never go away.
How do you fight back? Suicide or bringing guns into school isn't the answer. Sure it brings attention to the issue of bullies and laws are passed to try to help but the trouble will still be there.
We all need to find within ourselves productive ways to deal. You must find SELF WORTH. That too may seem impossible. Especially if no one at home to back up what is true about yourself.
You do have worth. Your existence is not an accident. I challenge you to make a list of good things about yourself.
Trust me I once laughed at the idea. But even if you can only think of 1 or 2 things it's a start.
You may be able to use the very insults being hurled at you to start your list.
Maybe as a boy your expected to be "one of the guys." Playing sports is what that might mean. But maybe playing sports isn't your thing. Maybe because your small or skinny. Or just maybe you don't find any enjoyment in it. Maybe instead you are in the Chess Club or Math Club. In the eyes of your classmates that makes you a wimp, a wuss, a dork, or a long list of other insults you may hear every time you go to school.
Well being good at chess and/or math might just stimulate your brain enough to become a doctor, or
scientist of some sort. (Just as an example) Maybe you will someday discover a cure for Cancer, A.I.D.S. or a host of other diseases. And then your discovery will lead to saving the lives of hundreds, thousands, or millions of people, bullies included.
Maybe as a girl you are teased by other girls for wearing "boys clothes" and playing sports. The other girls maybe suggest that you're butch and not really a girl. OK maybe you as a girl focus on physical strength instead of spending time and money on fancy clothes and makeup. In the process you eventually join The National Army Reserves and one day save lives in the aftermath of a natural disaster.
Maybe as a guy your teased for being artistic and sensitive. Perhaps you write poetry instead of playing Baseball or Video Games. Maybe because of this you are teased about being gay. Whether you are or not. Well maybe being artistic and sensitive eventually leads to you meeting a great woman and you have a wonderful lifelong happy and successful marriage.
Maybe you are gay and someday win an award for furthering the cause of human rights.
Maybe you are one of the jocks or "pretty girls" and actually turn the tide of bullying by standing up against so-called friends that tease kids that don't fit in.
As you can see I could go on and on about this. There HAS to be at least the beginning of such a list for you. Maybe you are a bystander and would never dream of reporting bullying whether in class after class or online. We need you too. Tragedies can be prevented.
Bullies are at school, home, church, and work.
Maybe you are a bully. Ever ask yourself why? Are you bullied at home by your dad or big brother.
You feel helpless and in order to have strength you pick on someone weaker. You don't like being bullied so you should not pass it on. You too can make a list of qualities you possess.
Maybe you are a tough guy on the defensive line of your high school football team. It takes a lot of energy to work so hard. Maybe you dream of playing professional football someday. But maybe your grades hover just above failing. Maybe instead of picking on the dorky kid you can ask for his/her help with studying. Maybe then you will be a future hall of fame athlete.
Teachers also need to be proactive. Don't shrug off any bullying you may see on the schoolyard or abuse that is reported on Facebook.
We all have a chance to make a difference.
